Mighty

[LoisB]

Mighty,

I just wrote this great post. I'm pretty sure it was the best post ever written on these boards. I pushed a button or something and it's gone.

To sum up:

Catching up on your thread.

-If you're an idiot, then I'm an idiot. And, I'm not an idiot.

-I got sucked in again last week and the week before.

-It's human to want a happy ending for you and your kids after so much pain and rejection. It makes sense. When in pain, we want relief and he came riding onto the scene with his white steed and seemed, maybe?, willing to put things right. We were willing to take the risk again. Who would turn that away? Especially when you are stressed, rejected, humiliated, overwrought with grief?? Seriously? The man you married took a brief sabbatical from crazy and showed up on your doorstep.

-It's not what it seems. When I had my awakening after Smokey's brief and false reconciliation...I had a moment where I realized I was dealing with a teenager. I was every ounce the 40+ woman that I am and he was a child. He couldn't handle grown up problems. He ran again when it became uncomfortable or looked like more fun elsewhere. It's very, very childish when you think about it...On the one hand...a marriage which will require a lot of work to fix, two children who are broken-hearted and need a lot of work to mend vs. newborn baby and the call of "easy." We all know that it won't be easy because we are grown ups. And, we aren't in such a fog that we can't see him throwing away the good for more bad. That's on him.

When the Titanic sank, it was because the situation outside the boat, was able to get inside the boat. When the water and ice made it inside the boat, things went bad and fast.

Don't allow his situation just outside of your home to sink your ship.

Try looking at this from a different angle. What if his coming back would've set you up for something less than God has in store for you? What if God has these huge blessings in store and He wants you to move through the uncomfortable to get to the other side. What if you have loads to accomplish and blessings to reap, just through this dark forest?

I've been doing this...Consider your ex as someone on a dating site. Shelf your history with this man for a moment.

In the fine print it says, under his name, xx cheated on his wife...got another woman pregnant...history of lying and immaturity...abandoned two teenage kids...bought a house around the corner from his wife and children with the OW. May not have any balls at this time and may never grow any.

Would you pick him?-the person you are? Unless it was in a line up? Or for a firing squad?

What if his betrayal is the thing that God wants you to move past to reach the blessings? Who would Jesus be without Judas? Maybe we need these "troubled" individuals for the lessons they teach or the bigger picture...but, not for the happy ending we are imagining with them...maybe an even happier ending??

What if there's someone in my future who is freaking awesome and actually shows my kids what a good man really looks like?

It could be Smokey...but, he will have to part the Red Sea at this point to prove it.