I think there are times to state that you don't believe divorce is the answer but once you've stated it, she knows how you feel and it comes back down to living through actions instead of words. If you don't believe divorce is the answer, live your life according to that belief rather than telling her about it.
Me: 31, W: 29 T: 4 M: 2 Kids: 3 (SS: 7, SD: 4, D: 3) Separated, still living together: Nov 2013 Separate bedrooms: Feb 2014 W working away; kids with me: Nov 2014