Counseling today and the improvement in communications has continued. Our conversation was based on kids logistics, but it was smooth, relaxed and actually enjoyable. I did catch her 'saying' things to me that were similar to what MC has told me to say to her to keep the conversation going....stories about the kids.
So halfway through it was clear that the session was on good terms, I was feeling good and I felt like we were just talking like we used to. My W looked down and was reading something. I was looking at her and I realized right there that my love for her is so alive and well in my heart. It was so tough to hold back. I just wanted to lean forward and hug her. It was that same dorky feeling you get when you would admire someone that didn't realize it. Your mind wanders, your heart rate accelerates and you are trying your hardest not to get caught staring, but you can't look away. Ugh, tough, tough, tough.....
Well that aside; I can say that my short term goals are starting to be met, Improving our communication about the kids. The MC was so excited that we were talking so easily. He's only seen the absolute strife we've had over the last couple months.
No expectations either way, but I'm wondering why this change occurred, like I was talking about the other day. Instead of over analyzing (half of me thinks this is good, half thinks its bad) I'm just going to chock it up to this being the next stepping stone to wherever this journey is going. We need to be co-parents first regardless of anything else.
M:36 W:37 T: 15 M:11 S6 D5 BD: 8/10/14 IDLY: 8/12/14 S: 8/13/14 (she left, I stayed w/ kids) D Mentioned: 10/15/14 Confronted about OM: 10/15/14 EA: ~4/13 PA: ~10/13 She filed: 8/15 (not final)
