Devastated Husband; Need Advice...Part 2

[MCS]

I don't know how people did this for years. I really admire that.

They did it one day at a time.....just like us

in the end, we cant control anything and the sitch's that seem to show the most promise, don't always work out. Its not in our hands. And I don't know how to deal with that.

Hey, like we talked over in my thread. This is the toughest part, by far. This is an interesting place on the internet. By its very nature, the sitch's are pretty dire. Looking at the one's that don't work out is not productive. Did you read Surf's update a few weeks back? His sitch ended in D, but what he got here set him up to learn and improve from it, he's content and happy right now.

The 'strategy' part is so difficult. I can say that you hear all of this advice...detach, detach, detach. It makes no sense at all, but I can say there's no magic formula, but since I have; I find myself in a much better place. I'm no longer worrying about my approach, which is adding more consistency to my actions.

Have you seen an IC? I would have sworn off them before this, but I have to admit they have a way of getting you to look at things in a different way. I find myself now thinking like a counselor in some things I say and do. Its almost like looking at yourself from the outside.

Hang in there, I hit my low around the time you are at right now. It will get better, you're doing really good. I remember your first post on here and you've seemed to change a lot, understand now you can't 'fix' her and she needs to do this. Sometimes it helps me to go back and re-read my threads and see how some of the things I said back then seem so ridiculous now. That's how you know you've grown in all of this.