"As far as telling my freind at work, he has never met nor knows my wife. He is a trusted colleague."
You'll find out real fast that there is no one who can be considered "trusted".
"Obviously no way would I send anything to anyone that would be disrespectful to my wife and family."
You just did. I know it was a joke about the OM, but it is a part of you and your W's situation. And what do you think your colleague is going to think if you and your W reconcile and meets your W? He will always have that impression of her.
"I'm not an innocent party. I also cheated 1 night stand no sex. My 2 best friends know about this but don't judge."
Of course not, because they're your friends. Get real.
"When wife found out about my faults she text a mutual friend asking about this girl. I was angry about that as paints me to be the only bad guy."
You are. Even if you did it when your W had her A, bottom line is that you had an A.
"I haven't said anything about that though. I'm not here to score points off her."
You just did.
"Yes she is opening up about her reality. It's hard to hear it though as her reality is completely skewed. She is in fantasy land."
It's not a "fantasy". It's time you got real about that. This is what she wants over you. For whatever reason, she's not a mental patient, she has made a conscience decision to do this. If you let your ego and pride get in the way, you won't be able to hear what she needs and is getting from this other guy what she felt she couldn't get from you.
To be clear, it's not your fault that she has an A. That's a choice she made the same way you did. You have the perfect opportunity to learn about what makes a successful relationship and how to communicate well.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
