I was thinking about the pursuit/distance thing today.
The way xh is now, is exactly like he was last year (with a few bonuses). He is broken, a mess, and confused. Depressed.
And, just like last year when he said he needed time- I gave it to him. This year was the same. I respected that.
Now, in the past, I was the pursuer. He was the distancer (in his own needy way). When dbing- I stopped pursuing. Dropped the rope. And hww was a serious pursuer.
This time around, he is the same broken, depressed, confused guy. I did not pursue. I needed for him to work for it. Hww pursued through the whole thing.
I did not get intimate with xh. I wanted him to be better, to be stronger, and to start out... whatever it may be on more solid ground.
Hww has a history of not caring about that. So, again, he's a sucker. Pretty pathetic, but what do I know?
Honestly, I'm not sweating her at all. She is the least of my worries. I have such a different outlook now. My hurt is my hurt. And it is between xh and me. Mostly me.
