"The mail she sent me a lot longer and really p1ssed me off as she was looking for sympathy."
Mindreading.
"She was similar at weekend saying d8 will be ok kids are resilient blah blah. D8 will be ok but absolutely no doubt she will be very hurt. She was going on about some celebrity who has a great relationship with first wife blah blah again looking for me to justify her actions."
You're not getting it. When she tells you that, she's opening up a little about her reality. You can use that to your advantage. If you just shut it out, you won't know how to change it. Have you gone to counseling for yourself to learn how to communicate and listen better to your W?
"I just can't. It's like I dont even know her"
Her telling you that is her tell you how she is now.
"I discussed it with my mate at work before sending and he was also amazed at how she is behaving. His suggestion.......send back a picture of OM with a crudely drawn c**k on his head saying tell it to someone who cares......I was tempted and it did make me laugh at least."
Did you read the books? There' s reason why you don't start sharing your story with everyone. It's funny for a laugh, you'll get support on your side, etc. But inside your friend now thinks your W is a sl@t. And no matter how "secretive" he is, he might tell someone. Then everyone will have that impression of her because they would only have his side of the story. That's how rumors get started and I'm sure you like everyone thinking your W sleeps around.
M-43 W-40 2D - 9 and 5
Emotion, yet peace. Ignorance, yet knowledge. Passion, yet serenity. Chaos, yet harmony. Death, yet a new life.
