Zelda Fitzgerald is a favorite character of mine, though an unfortunate inspiration for a healthy marriage. But it's a bad-ass name I needed to adopt as an avatar in a time of feeling generally small and unlovable.
3kids, I have to hand it to you and everyone else doing the work despite the infidelity. I can't even imagine leaving room in my heart in that sitch or ever being able to trust again. But like your namesake, there is a lot at stake. And they say sometimes M is stronger after. I read an article a while ago about how often an affair isn't the search for another person as much as it is the search someone embarks on to find themselves or a piece they've lost. Eh.
Do you really think she's afraid of you also meeting someone? I'm not a big fan of games, but if there were a way to get together with some single guy friends and go out, that would sure be a nice way for you to let her know you're not dead, or hanging on hope of her return. For your sake, I am glad to hear of all the insecurity of the OM. Like Bulldogs said, that's probably the thing, but I initially thought after everything you described - the guy was going to throw himself at your feet and say, dude how did you handle this? LOL. Keep at it - self respect and love above all.
Mid 30's Psych-abusive M with violent tantrums from XH D 9/15; NC forever on
