Gogofo - LRT letter - planning a new beginning

[gogofo]

Woke up in the middle of the night last night and started to think about what is going to happen next and that I need to have a plan for it.

I fully expect to be handed the final D papers with all of the ins and outs of the settlement before I close on my house on Feb. 27th. The way the process works is I got served and now it is presented as a complaint. If we work out the particulars of the D settlement on our own then it is uncontested and neither of us is required to have a L.

If I contest it then she has to attain a L and so do I. I will not contest it because what she has stated she wanted previously is better than I would get by going through a contested D where a judge makes decisions. If that were the case she would get half of my investment in my company and I would get half of her student loan debt.

The particulars of our D are supposed to be worked out within 20 days of my being served, somewhere around the 17th of Feb. The L handling it said he would not bug us unless my W called him to get me on board.

She has not talked about the D for the last 7 days. I am not going to ask her about it either.

What I need to figure out is what I will do when the papers come, if we are still living together. Right now I am in the basement until I get into my new place.

I don't plan on treating her any different. I am not total LRT, but I am actively working on dropping all expectations and all pursuit.

I think I may have witnessed a ever so slight shift in her attitude towards me since the pressure is off, but I don't expect it to exact a change of heart in her.

Let me bullet point this:

My actions now - Friendly house mate, happy, upbeat, thank her for sharing time with me, express enjoyment, not pursuit and NC during the day when we are apart except for kid stuff. Enjoy the moments but don't grasp for more.

My actions after D papers - Continue with the same. I plan on leaving the house acting like the man I working to be.

Reaction to D talk - When she brings it up I think I will state my opinion and simply say "I do not believe this is the answer to our problems, but I respect you and will not stand in your way if it is what you want. What would you like to talk about regarding the D?"

Is stating my opinion here a bad idea? I think she is painting a picture in her mind, and maybe to others, that this is a mutual decision; even though I told her (twice) two weeks ago that I don't believe in it.

I would like some feedback on my ramblings. The 2x4s I received lately have been very helpful. I do better with my emotions and actions trying to visualize what could happen because I get emotionally flooded easily.

Thanks again to everyone on this forum, I learn something new every time I get online.