Toots is moving forwards..

[edz]

Hi toots

Sorry its all been playing on your mind, can understand it though comes in waves get wound up on an aspect of it all and thats resolved or passes then get a respite of calm and the next thing comes along.

Each time the dip seems shallower though, don't know if you find that.

Think putting it on the back burner for lunch was a good move. Hope you had a nice time.

[Vanilla]

Why, oh why does that musing happen at night?

Must research the biochemistry of that, could be revealing?

Any answers from Team DB?

V

[Sotto]

Been working this morning, and lunch is on the go now. Bookstore volunteering this pm and mum-sitting after that. No response from the L yet.

Someone posted an interesting comment on their thread about emotional immaturity. I think most LBS's here on the forum develop greater emotional maturity, just to get through the crisis, and in our desire to save ourselves and if possible the M.

Since I read this comment (by complex?) I have been thinking about how emotionally immature my H has been - telling me by email about his A, telling others our R is over, but not me, not expressing his needs/concerns before walking away...

Is that a product of becoming a WAS, or possible MLC? Was he always that way? In any case, it does create a mismatch in that the LBS has moved forwards in EM and the WAS not so, or even moved backwards..

Just journaling what's been on my mind recently. Hope everyone is having a good Monday!

[edz]

Hi Toots

busy with work and still mulling (not obsessing) about yesterday but not too bad.

I think you're right about the above, certainly I think we have to face our own demons about fears that we had before and after bd and what role we played in it all if any (obviously not in all sitches) and how to make ourselves better regardless of our was's.

Enjoy your day, will catch you later

Edz

Just noticed I bust the 1k posts mark today, wow...

[jim0987]

and a big chunk of those are about food

I think everyone is emotionally immature until they have a reason to grow up. Some people do it gradually others its a big change.

Personally i feel that I have emotionally matured a lot in the last few months because I chose to in an effort to save my marriage. I could have taken very different routes through all of this and at times i nearly have until I've stopped to think why am i doing XYZ?

dont get me wrong plenty of times my emotions have got the better of me and i've said something hurtful or pursued in a way i shouldnt or simply let my flight reflex win.

Any time my wife has got upset at me she has shut down or called me names. My IC has said (based on my description) she is behaving like a teenager

Hope you had a good afternoon. You cashing up again?

[edz]

Mooorninnggg Toots

Hows it going? How was the bookstore were you on cashing up again?

[Sotto]

I did cash up again gents - thanks for asking. We were a £1 down, but no-one seemed too concerned about that. I was there again this morning. Just having some lunch now and then need to log on to work this pm.

Heard back from the L - she would like to see me following my email, so I"m waiting for a call back from them. It won't be until a couple of weeks though, due to her busy diary.

Hope you're having a good day? T x

[edz]

Hi Toots

bah! work...same old but from home today (split yesterday, office tomorrow) was snowing this morning with about 3 inches settled on the ground, knowing the wonderful standard of driving and panic that drivers round here get into I thought, yup, hot coffee and the PC from home today

I'm ok 'suppose. No changes really just getting on

Looking at gyms tonight, online if the snows there may take a trip up to a couple if not.

[Vanilla]

We are snowed in but old 4x4 has done the job getting to work.

Tidying up and a lot to do.

Viewings on House which is very out of order and needs a good dust and clean because of year end. May need to take a day off tomorrow to make it presentable. Things are moving forward.

V

[Complex]

Ya, that was me posting the comment about E immaturity. But actually is was my W showing me this, wanting to show me that I am emotional immature.
But I'm not sure how much she is regarding how she handled the situation. I'm over the blaming game, but she just made things muchhh worse by lying and trying to not 'hurt' me.
Too many mistakes we both made. I have a hard time to forgive. And now it's too little and too late.