- it is fairly normal not to put a value on household items - how do you value a couch you bought 20 years ago? In your case with a relatively short M, it would make sense to first reclaim household items on a pre-M basis. Then you reduce the negotiation to what you acquired jointly. This is what I proposing to W, and with the joint stuff, I am thinking of what our future living spaces will be, and I will be perfectly willing to trade away things that aren't going to fit into that plan. (how many queen size bedroom suites is it worth fighting for when you're downsizing, etc.)
- BTW, I have heard that judges hate dealing with pots, pans and household stuff, so you really want to sort that out on your own.
- regarding the multiyear payback. ugh. I'd be looking for a way to make a clean break. If you do end up with a multi-year payback, make sure it is well documented in the agreement. I'm thinking of capital gains tax consequences when they are drawn out over years instead of a single event. Don't know how that works.
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H: Are you sure? 'Cause [lastname] is a pretty cool name.
This was hilarious. Apparently, H doesn't see how you might have a negative association with the name. Typical, remember his empathy chip is totally busted. Just remember it's not about you.
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H: 'Cause that would be pretty rude
Another gem. There are so many great ironies in what they say. You will get to the point where these things no longer make you angry, then you will get past the point where you feel sad for them for not knowing what they are saying, then you get to the point where it is hard not to laugh at the outright absurdity of what they are saying.
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I can't help but feel like none of it was ever serious or real to him.
Don't stay in this place, you will hurt yourself. You must know and believe that it indeed was serious, he did love you, and it was very real. Remember your M for all the good things it was, without regret. That was all real and it's ok to cherish that. Discard the current bad and move forward. H is broken right now. Don't let yourself rewrite your happy past into something it wasn't.
