Wonka I missed your posts last night so I did not respond to W texts. When she does this again I'll use them. Thank you so much for your excellent scripts.
Right now things are still frosty between us. This morning, S12 woke up in a funk still talking about not wanting to spend the next 2 nights with his mom. He was little upset when he saw me pack his guitar to go with him. He said he didn't want to practice over at the aunt's house. I said I understand but this is what his mom asked me to pack with him. She said we didn't have to do what his mom asks for. I said I understand your feelings. Let's help mom and do what she asks. You can talk more with her about what you want when you see her.
When W got here, I thought I was even. Not at all happy to see her, but not angry either. She did not get out of the car. She said good morning and I said hey. I bent down to tell S12 goodbye. I glanced at W and she started to tell me something but then looked at me and seemed to decide not to. I said OK, closed the door, and walked away.
She just texted me and said she changed the schedule through March 1 and asked me to confirm I'm OK with the changes. I've now set the calendar to notify me when she makes future changes. I'll also install Google Calendar on S12's phone so he can also see and get notified of the schedule. W said a little while ago she did not want S12 to have the schedule to save him stress. That doesn't make sense. I've noticed that I can't edit the calendar. Will bring that up to her. I prefer the family calendar where any changes have to be agreed to by the other party before they go through.
I'll text her this later today.... "Hello W. Thank you for making this new schedule. Can you help me with 2 things? I noticed before I cannot edit the schedule you make. Also, you made new changes between 2/10 and 2/15 dates after you asked me to review the changes. I could have missed your changes. I'm sure you agree it's fair for both of us to be able to edit the calendar and to be notified and get the opportunity to approve any changes before they go on the calendar. To do this, please move your changes as is to the helpful 2houses calendar you suggested we use before. Once that's done, then I will look at the full schedule and confirm it is OK for you. Thank you W."
I'm going to review the great advice I've received on this thread later. I think at this point I'm doing right... staying dark, sending her calls to VM, being firm on her keeping schedule without changes, paying my part of expenses, GALing, not being offended by anything she does, staying out of S12 and W's relationship, pushing back when she tries to make me the bad guy.
I'm going to schedule another DB coach session at some point. I think I have an IC session today.
Back to work.
Onward.
Me: 44 W: 45 S: 11 Married: 15 Together: 18 BD: 9/29/2014 OM discovered: 10/16/2014 I left her behind: 12/14/2014
