Mighty

[job]

I agree w/Wonka. Mlcers can't handle stress, nor can they handle being around sick or dying individuals. It's too much for them to handle and their emotional banks going into over load and what do they do? They run right back down into the rabbit hole, hoping that things will resolve themselves before they peek out of the hole once again. To us it looks dishonest and disrespectful, but to them it's called "survival mode". They have to regroup those emotional banks to handle some of the stressors.

The not looking in your eye is called guilt. He has done something that he knows was wrong, i.e., just like the little boy who takes a cookie from the cookie jar after you have told him no and then you catch him.

Your children are old enough to have conversations w/their father on their own. I agree that the next time he inquires about them, suggest that he ring them up, text and/or email them. If they wish to speak w/him, so be it. Time for him to realize that you aren't going to be the go between all of the time. As for him coming to your home to visit the children, it's okay, but I wouldn't make this a habit. Especially offering him dinner or having his favorite foods around. He's a big boy and between him and the children, they should also be able to come up w/activities that they can do together outside your home. While he's there, you do not need to feel that you have to be in the same room w/him. If you have things to do, do them. If you have errands to run, run them. He's your new sitter! Use that time wisely and do something nice for yourself.

As for him sleeping over....he lost that privilege a while ago. I would allow him to do so unless you are out of town.

Please take care of yourself. The last few months have been an emotional coaster for you because of the way things have gone down. I wish that there was something I could do to make it better for you.