The MLCer that is your H has gone back to the tunnel and will be there for a while. Nothing to do with being dishonest or disrespectful. He.Just.Cannot.Handle.Stress.At.All.
When you wrote that he couldn't look in your eye, this sets alarm bells ringing in my head that he probably got intimate with OW only fairly recently. (I know this because I did this stuff back in my college days :o)Couldn't look you in the eye because he knows in his head that he sort of promised that he'd return to the family and then got sucked in by OW and her baby.
This has ZERO correlation to you. Trust me on this. H is under so much pressure from the OW and the baby that something had to give. Guess what that was? Yup. You and his other kids.
I would not ban H from coming around the house as it is the only avenue that he gets to see the kids. My suggestion for the next time H texts you asking about the kids, "H, why don't you ask them directly yourself. You know where to reach them."
However, you are within your right to not allow H to sleep at your house overnight as he lost that privliege to do so.
