This is why I am so mixed. I want to believe our love was real and this is just a bump in the road. I want to believe that I wasn't completely mislead by him and that I wasn't wrong in trusting him. But I also want to get to a point where my life is my own and not an accessory to his. I am starting to feel that way because I am not doing what he wants me to. I am still home, but I am doing my own thing. But at the same time I think separating will be the healthiest thing for me--except that it is once again me doing what he wants me to do to make his life easier. I really don't know what is best anymore. Do I stay or do I go? Do I file or do I want for him? One thing I know is that I will not go until we have a legal agreement.
So instead of doing everything the way he wants to, why not take charge? If the healthiest thing is to separate, but you won't go till you have a legal agreement, and you are anxious because you don't understand the process, take charge of that.
Your whole post reads like a woman who feels she has no say. It's true that none of your options are the ones you want, but that does not mean you have no power. It just means you have to choose the option that works best for you from a bad batch.
Your choices don't sound fun, and I'm sorry that's how bad your options are. How can you reframe that though to make you stronger?
For example, for how long will you stay with your parents? I'm sure it won't be forever -- just till you get your life settled.
I think you've talked before about the frustration of how poorly money is managed in your household -- what will you do to assure your financial stability when you don't have to share that with him?
What will your friends be like when you start making your own? How will you relax when you ultimately have your own place -- WHICH YOU WILL -- and can build a home of your own?
What else can you say to yourself to make your story one of triumph rather than loss?
Me42, H40 D12, S8, S7 A revealed: 7/13 Sep 4/14; Agreed to D 1/15
