How To Be A Man Only A Fool Would Leave

[HPoirot]

Hello everyone. Great conversation here.

I feel fear of failure, stress, and losing money. So the fears I live with everyday.

I want to see my family together at a new level of togetherness and happiness and love. I prefer not to fail there.

I hate the stress of dealing with W's stress, fear, anxiety, anger, and crying. So more fears I've lived with many days. I prefer not to deal with this mess from her for years of co-parenting.

And I already have money issues I'm paying off. I prefer not to sink thousands of dollars deeper in the hole.

So, W says she'll have her apartment in 2 weeks instead of next week. I have told her I prefer to start a 4 day split once she has her place. She wants to keep S12 for the majority of the time for a few weeks to balance out our time. I've had him 95% of the time so far. Then she agreed to try the 4 day split though she prefers a week on/off schedule. It could be a good idea for S12 to stay with her the first week to get acclimated there. Being away from my son for a week at a time moving forward does not sound good to me, though.


As for tuition, I will pay my part on Friday and will let her know. She has said she can't afford her agreed to part of the payment. She has now brought up wanting child support a couple times lately. It will be tight for her to pay all her expenses.

My state has no legal separation. We'd have to agree on a separation agreement. If we can't agree... then it goes to court sponsored mediation.

So, the 2 things I want at this point are for W to pay her 35% of S12's tuition as agreed and to agree to a 4 day split schedule. I've already told her both these things.

On the money, her reply is... "I can't afford it. I have more expenses than you." On the days... "I love my son and you've had more days with him." If I say... "that's b/c you didn't have a place S12 liked so you couldn't do as you said you would with your schedule," she replies... "You made me homeless and took the car. It's not my fault."


I preferred to let her initiate any legal action like DB says. So I was going to pay my part of our joint bills, be agreeable with her schedules, and just keep working on my life.

So, do I send her a nice text asking for her schedule idea? Also, I'll just keep paying my part of things and expect her to pay her part?

Or do I just go straight to a lawyer, have a separation agreement made, and send it to her? If I can somehow get primary custody, that would be better parenting and financially for me.

Then, there's the terrible thing that happened to Jan... when she filed for legal separation and her W changed it to D. If that happens then easier for me. I just want to make sure W can't control my life.