MLCer and EA w/ OW

[Jer2911]

...helped me earn some respect by not allowing her to walk all over me.

This is definitely something I need/intend to work on... To no longer allow her to walk all over me. I've always allowed her to have most of the control and most of the voice in decision-making in our life together... Unless it was something I felt very strongly about, in which case I would work to persuade or convince her to consider the alternative. She is very used to me allowing her to do that, so this is one of my 180s -- especially with regard to the discussions related to the specifics and logistics of separation. She has already demonstrated to me that she wants complete control over everything related to separation and she has been so frustrated by my refusal to allow it. Doesn't make those discussions any easier or at all comfortable for me, but I do feel better inside about standing up to her and not allowing her to have complete control...

I don't know yet if this is earning me any respect with her (seems to only be increasing the bitterness and anger towards me), but if I focus on myself then this 180 is really more about change within myself than her reaction to it... And I seem to recall some phrase about change not being comfortable (or "it is outside of our comfort zone where real change and growth occur...")

Fearing the unknown ... I could write a novel on that, its a waste of energy and you know that. What will come will come, you are going to be ok.

Yep. You are right. :-)