Hi Complex, I think it's common to 'downplay' the OP - lots of WAS's do that. And it is partly true, in that issues in the R made you guys vulnerable to an A. Not excusing her behaviour/choice in this regard.

Of course, when the excitement of the A has worn off, things may change - who knows. I think the important thing is - what do you want to do now? Do you want to S? If you do, start making your plans and moving forwards to where you want to be..

T 13 M 7
Me 48 H 46
SS 15
BD 7.14 PA
D final 5.16 (H filed)

We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus