Hopeless in NYC

[eclipse]

Um, she says she doesn't like the personality of her daughter? That is just wrong. Find a way to document that, and you'll definitely get full custody.

It is really messed up, and it's not the first time she said that. Last time she mentioned it in passing, something along the lines of "she's definitely your daughter, unfortunately." My parents would say sh*t like that to me when I was growing up--"you're just like your mom/dad." I never thought that my W of all people would say things like that, especially since being a parent was her life-long dream.

Just a thought...why does getting herself together involve dating? Perhaps she is already interested in someone or has perhaps taken actions in that regard that you are not aware of.

Well, she *has* been saying how she started liking just about every other man she saw shortly before she left, and that was a sign to her that the R is a failure. So maybe. The thing is she keeps meandering between "independence" and "needing a partner," and really there's no way I can tell if it's for show or indecisiveness. Historically, she's always wanted a 50/50 relationship, but from what I've been hearing lately she wants a man who would lead and be more of a decision maker. Maybe it's just a reaction to feeling lost, or maybe I've just been such a bad H that I just don't know what my W really wanted all these years. As I've mentioned before, it's not particularly in her nature to be interested in art/music/tech/history/sports or anything else folks do for individual recreation or mental intrigue. I think she just likes to go out with people and have a "good time," and all the better if there's someone who she doesn't utterly despise to show her new and exciting ways to do that.

Still you should continue to reflect on YOU and continue any GAL and self improvement activities that you can do. You can't control W and you shouldn't try. Make your life and your child's life the best it can be given today's reality. Make sense...?

It does make sense. The truth is that I've been quite the homebody all these years and became very isolated (read "living under a rock"). Lately it's been a complete inversion--I'm out there meeting new people and surprisingly, having a good time. It's also allowed me to go to social venues with my daughter that I would never have considered in the past, and she's having a great time too! Yes, it's amazing what not being an elitist antisocial ass can accomplish.