I am sorry that you're feeling under the weather lately. Yep, the anxiety monster is lurking under your bed and he's as ugly as advertised!
A while back, you mentioned boundaries. I've given your sitch some more thought. There's nothing you can do about the OW boundary. However, you can set up a boundary that you will not be treated with disrespect and rudeneess from your W. When your W spews and speaks rudely, put up your hand and say, "W, I will not be spoken to in that manner. It stops right now. If you continue with this disrespectful behavior, I will walk out. I will listen if you are calm and speak respectfully."
When W comes back home, she may walk on a high cloud for a few days and then the monster will come out because she will perceive you as the "obstacle" to her happiness with the OW. You do need to be totally prepared fo this and if need be, walk out of the house for a few hours if W displays unreasonable behaviors.
I am glad to read that you've reached out and doing a lot of activities out of the house. A nice distraction for sure!
