I am just trying to understand what the "fear" really is about for the men. Does this mean all those jokes about the old ball & chain is just a cover, and the truth is you are just as emotionally dependent on a M as a woman? You really don't want to be single, like guys pretend?
I am not so sure that fear is specific to men. I think even our LBS female counterparts are affected by fear.
I believe we all fear the unknown. That's why so many people fear death. It is unknown.
When we are in a M/R, especially for an extended length of time, it is what we know. It is what we are comfortable with. It was our security. When all of a sudden it comes crashing down...we are left to pick up the pieces. It is a shock to the system. Certainly something that most(if not all) people are not prepared for.
So naturally we do things that are intuitive. We pursue, and beg, etc. I believe intuitively, we fear pushing our spouses further away. We fear upsetting them more. We are in a fog of fear, which causes us to become paralyzed.
The reality is, that we need to stand up for ourselves. Quit enabling the petulant behavior. Easier said than done.
Me:45 ExW:48 M:04/97 3 Bombs & 2 ReCons 1st BD 11/10 D Finalized 4/20 D-16 S-14 Going in one more round when you don't think you can. That's what makes all the difference in life.~Rocky Balboa
