barely holding on - 7

[u-turn]

I am trying to get back to my detachment/separation mode again. This weekend took a toll on that. I agree that I did get mushy when I had no intention to do so.

I don't know if I should apologize though, we both had too much to drink, she's the one who got into bed with me (I have slept there every night and she's the one who sleeps elsewhere). She did leave, but said it was because she wasn't feeling well not rejection. I did say things that I did not intend on saying this was not pursuit for sex or anything like that. But it was a reaction of her being in bed with me.

I really feel that she is looking for pursuit from me (again not sexual) and I have been really good lately at not giving that.

She told me yesterday that she had a great time on Saturday - I responded back to her that I had fun too, but what now? Where do we go from here?

She didn't respond to that. I am going to ask her this again.

I know that mentioning the A or OM is a bad idea, but I sometimes feel like it is time for an ultimatum even though that will be seen as controlling. I don't want to allow this to be swept under the rug again.

Thanks Starsky