Just a little update on what is going on here... hopefully you guys can offer a little bit on insight. So as you have all read today my W gets the keys to her new place. She decided on Sat night that she wanted to talk about logistics of her moving out. While I wasn't thrilled about having it, I decided that it needed to happen one way or another. I was very civil with everything, I tried my best to smile, I offered some suggestions on how she could move certain things. People have told me not to help her move at all.... I can't bring myself along with this line of thinking, honestly its just not me. I think that in the end I won't help her with everything, and will certainly do what I can on my time table not hers, but will give her a hand. If for nothing else then to help the transition with my kids (and yes they are going to be staying with me primarily, incase anyone was wondering ). Also that morning I was informed by one of my best friends that she had sent out a mass message via Facebook to some of our friends stating our sitch. That she had ultimately decided to end our marriage, and that any questions or support could be sent both our ways. That was the start of what turned into a very odd weekend dealing with her.
So that being said yesterday was just a messed up day. It began with a lot of snow here and all of us having a stay home kinda day. When my W finally emerged from her room downstairs she decided to organize the pantry.... this just boggled my mind! Yes it certainly needed to be done, but why she decided to do it yesterday was beyond me. After she had picked through all of the little things that had expired and organized things, she began talking about what we should probably stock up on. UUUMMMMM what?!? You are moving out? You are getting yours keys tomorrow, we had a conversation about moving last night.... WHAT?!?! I agreed with her assessment of what we needed, but didn't offer much comment. I talked a bit about general organization in the kitchen (things I was going to do) and she continued to talk like she wasn't leaving. She then went down to her room (which is in a stage of being packed up) pack some more things, but again came up stairs did some meal planning for the week and the line of conversation continued.
Obviously I'm not deceived or distracted by this conversation in anyway. I know that she is moving out, and that in 2 weeks she will be out and in her new place. I'm just at a loss for this behavior. I described it to my best friend as feeling like I was living with someone who is bipolar. He kinda agreed and did a lot to show me support where he could. Anyone have any thoughts on this? Also later in the afternoon she decided that she wanted to get some beer for the supper bowl and do some drinking.... at home with me. Again odd, this probably hasn't happen since eh summer when I thought we were actually getting better. We proceeded to drink a fair bit, but then along came texting the OM, and it was back to the same old BS. Luckily as this happened the game was ending and I choose to get up and tend to my kids. Honestly I'm just at a loss here... I'm comfortable in not really knowing at this point, every day I become more detached. Again just at a loss, kinda confused... and maybe empathetic to the fact that she really is lost and confused.
And to top it all off last night was a real struggle for my D8 (one week she will be D9). I think she saw smiler behavior in my W that I was seeing from this summer. The evening ended with my snuggling with her a bit while she cried and I told her it would be ok. I sang to her a bit and she basically silently sobbed in my arms. She is trying to be strong, and I'm trying to tell her she needs to let it out. Obviously after that I was really feeling the pain of this.... definitely a very hard ending to my strange weekend.
Have people been here before? Has anyone had similar things happen like this? Linda I know you and I seem to be sharing similarities in our sitch, any thoughts? Also I'm still struggling with what her moving out really means... is it the end? Does it support the DBing stance?
Last edited by Andy125; 02/02/1507:42 PM.
M:34 W:34 D:8 D:5 M:10 T:15 BD: 10/10/14 D filed: 10/21/14 PA/EA:09/2013 EA:09/2014 - on going (online)
