Post retreat situation

[Marylov]

Hi there! I don’t know how to link my previous post to this new one, but it was suggested I start a new thread.

Recap of my situation:

M: 30 H: 31
D: under a year old
Married for 3.5 years

After neglecting my H and failing to make him a priority… 12/15/14: H says “I want a divorce”
1/16/15: We attend intensive marriage program, but no change of heart
1/30/15: H tells me he does not want to attend post sessions to work on our marriage
He is still living at home but is working on getting a new place to live.

The day after my H told me flat out that he would not be attending the post sessions, I have to admit I was very sad…then suddenly I got MAD. I got so angry. I started to avoid him in the house, and couldn’t even look at him. He asked me what was wrong, and I said “nothing” then walked away. Then last night he got home and asked me how our daughter was while he was out. I gave a short answer and he angrily said, “Is there something you want to say to me?” I said no.

I know my behavior was not helpful but I just couldn’t help it. I am trying to let go of the anger today. It just feels like I am getting nowhere with my kindness. I have been pleasant and accommodating and patient, taking care of all his needs, making dinner, washing his clothes, trying to anticipate his needs…giving him space…and he hasn’t changed his behavior at all. In fact, he has been ruder than normal. On Thursday, I asked if he needed anything from the store, and he texted back No. I texted back “ok”. He answered back with a rant about how I don’t need to respond to his “No”, that his no is the end of the conversation. I mean…how am I supposed to react to that? With more kindness and affirmation? I seriously do not know how to proceed.