If she wants to do something I am generally 'fine' with it (so not over enthusiasticaly fake, but supportive). On the other hand, if she wants to do something that I cant agree on no matter how much I bend, I will be sure to softly 'complain' and state the reason why. Careful to never jump down to contempt, etc. No yelling, no storming out.
Can you explain a little more about what you mean here? Are you referring to something she would want the two of you doing together, or something just for herself?
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Clearly the 'fish under the table' needs to be addressed,
That's a new one, never heard that expression....but makes a lot sense.
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I have cut back on social visits (seeing how me being out with the guys got me into this mess) so not sure me cutting her loose to go and be social every night is a great idea.
Just be sure you don't swing too far the other way and start smothering her with your presence.
Since we don't know you that well, it will left up to you to look within yourself and think really deep about your behavior, attitudes, responses, etc. You know, we can say a lot without ever saying a word. Some men are bad to give negative signs when his W says something. Like rolling his eyes, or a heavy groan, etc. Do you ever do things like that?
Do you ever say things that are tacky, or a little disrespectful? Make her the butt of your jokes? Embarrass her in front of friend? Put her down or thrown off about her when talking to others? These are things you need to observe about yourself.
What about your tone of voice when you speak to her or respond to something she says or does? How do you sound when she calls you, or first sees you after work?
How is your mood at home in the evenings? What are you like when you first get home from work? A grouch? Angry? Happy to see her and ready to listen about her day? Interested in her daily life?
Would you say you treat her as an equal partner, or more like a parent-child relationship? Do you think you are smarter than she is? Do you expect her to give an account of most everything she does, bills, money spent for shopping, etc. Does she have to ask you for money to spend?
Does she act nervous and up-tight around you? What does her body language say (other than the time in the cab)? Is she stiff and unapproachable? Do you believe you had anything to with her being that way?
These are just a few things to help you get started, and hopefully, you'll remember some others.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
That's a new one, never heard that expression....but makes a lot sense.