Part 11 - contents may be different than

[jim0987]

I think eastern australia is 11 hours ahead of us (in which case Ggrass you should be in bed as its past your 11 o'clock limit)

I perhaps wasnt clear when I talked about dating (I know you're not looking to date at the moment).

It comes back to what DR says about having small goals. I sometimes get the impression that we should be holding right back until they say something to the effect of 'Oh god i've made a terrible mistake please let us be married again' but i'm not sure how realistic that is in some of our situations, especially if there isnt OM/OW. Also if that is our expectation (never good to have i'm learning) then maybe we are setting the bar to high.

There is a difference between boundaries and hurdles.

Right now your W is spending good time with you and S and thats good but maybe you want to start thinking about the small incremental goals for you (the 'thing' might make a difference)

So I mean the hundred or so steps that come before you 'date' your wife which comes a hundred or so steps before reconcilliation. All the way through withour expectation, knowing that you cant control what she wants, and ensuring your boundaries are solid.

But yes if you do start dating then take it slow.....

Not that I can't really comment on any of this as I've never dated in any form (now that is quite a daunting prospect but at least its new)