We are all in love with you. A guy that is wild enough to ride a bike, crazy enough to toy with London police, a chef that cooks really good meals, a father that is dealing with his teenagers and the female issues, the one that make sure windows are clean. Wow... lost my breath for a second... if at least my H was half ot the man you are I certainly wouldn't be so strong now.
And I think V is having second thoughts about which Irish fits better. One is a cute face on screen but the other one has got it all. Congrats RD!
I don't know about my H well. His actions are all that he is very done with me and is moving on to a R with this woman. My marriage never had any kind of violence, not even bad words or big screaming. We had our fights but it never last more then minutes. We would argue for something and then just keep talking about something else.
As I wrote before, I had many health issues with my kids, one after the other and they last more then a year all together. Serious issues with my S20. I was extremely involved in my kids life and I think the passion with my H just died.
I finally got to the conclusion that I won't blame myself anymore. My H could easily join me and worry about the kids, but he decide to be very selfish and found someone to have fun and give him attention that he was not getting home.
I think he is not mixed up anymore. I think he is really sure of what he wants and is doing and the path for our D is very clear for me now. Since wednesday last week, we did not hear from him. He stop calling me, and he does not call or text the kids, not even today with the super bowl.
It's ashamed such behavior. He is so infatuated with OW that his family is dead for him.
About your wife. Maybe you need to review the DB book and maybe try to trace some plan of action. I get really torn by what she is doing. It seems that she does not love this OM, but in the same time, she does not leave this situation.
I agree with V that there need to be some kind of boundary, even if it start small, like limits for your bedroom. Then with time it can go to another level.
It's nice that you can talk and laugh about some jokes. You are being her friend and there is even a success story about a guy that did this. He was his W's best friend during the A, he mention that it was very hard at times but he stayed firm and decided to be present and patient. When her A ended, he was there and now they have a very healthy and strong R.
Maybe that is the road to take, if that is what you think is best for yourself and your family.
I also wrote about the boundaries because your kids being in Limbo, it is hard for us adults but it is also very dramatic for the kids, mainly the teenagers that are already dealing with their own stress. I hope that they will be fine since they have you as such strong anchor for them.
Oh RD, if at least there was a magic wand that would make your W snap out of her dreams. Is she going to counseling? What do you think it trigger this behavior? Where did she find this OM? Does he has a family? Do you know if he was married before or have kids on his own? Do you know if there is any dependency involved, like drugs, medication?
I know it's best if you take care after yourself and you kids and move forward and detach. But I also know how hard it is to detach from someone that is daily into your life. An in your case it is even worse, because she cries and says how hard is her life.
Maybe if there are some answers for some questions, maybe there would be some understanding and you could place yourself in a better position in this game.
Does your W knows you went on a date? If yes, did she mention anything to you or asked you anything about it?
I know it is very hard right now and I can only feel you pain. Please, try to look into somethings that you can do that will make you enjoy life a little more, not kids stuff, but something for RD. Maybe you can work on some 180s and wife could take care after the kids while you are doing some stuff. Maybe she gets curious because she will see you are looking at life without her.
What do you thing? I admire you RD, you are an awesome man and deserve better.
