Calibri (3)

[TLEE86]

Honest question time. Would love everyone's feedback. At what point do you accept your spouse's "I don't want to work on this/be married/be with you." As truth and just, for lack of better words, just set them free?

This should have been done from day 1 of BD, or whenever we started DBing. Its easier said then done, obviously, but this is something we needed to do a while back. Let them go, run their course, set them free and realize its out of our control. You know this.

At what point do you just let it go? At what point can't you no longer fight the tides? At what point do you just accept defeat and say, "well, it's not going to work" and move on.

Whenever YOU, CALIBRI, decide you don't want to fight for it anymore. No one can answer this but YOU. How much can you take? Obviously everyday you, we all, learn that we can take at least ONE more day of this. You are the only one to decide when you've had enough and just have no desire to make it work anymore. IMHO? You're not there yet. You said that H's tinder fling or whatever you wanna call it was your breaking point. Yet, you're still here. To me, you will "just know" when its time to call it. I just heard a story today on here from T2 that someone R with his W while at the D signing! anything is possible. T2 recommended to me, to set a date, 90days, and tell yourself you will NOT quit and will re-evaluate at the 90day mark. If you want to drop the rope then, then ok. But set a date, re-evaluate then. Until that time, keep doing it. Thoughts?

The reality is, and Vanilla hit the nail on the head and so did Zelda: he's got lots of work to do. Years of work, most likely. Do I go dark? (Technically, we are on darkish day 3?) do I give it awhile and reappear?

Did I give this my best shot? No, I'm woman enough to admit it. But I'm also woman enough to admit that perhaps he doesn't need or want another shot.

You've told me this many times and I'll say it back to you. Yes, H has LOTS of work to do. You and he will never R until he has fully worked through his issues. Are you willing to wait? Right now, I would give it a while. You need to let the dust settle. Lots of stuff has happened. You need to just give both of you room to breathe.

What do you think you could have done differently? Yes you've had some blowups at him, but who doesn't. What would you have changed? Identify those things, and change now. Its never too late.

Regroup, breathe and keep your head up C. Cant help but notice its pretty late over where you are, hopefully you've been out GAL tonight. Superbowl Party?