I thought everything was okay....(Part 4)

[MCS]

Mozza,

Thanks for checking in. I've been reading your sitch, but you seemed to be in good hands with the advice you are getting. I actually see things the same as you. The uncertainty that she has is probably part of the 'search' to find who she is. It makes it so more complicated that kids are involved. It was tough for me, but make sure that you have the kids first during your decisions over the next couple weeks.

For me, it has been a GAL weekend. Funny thing with advice is that you normally don't understand it until you are in the situation that you need it. Right now, that's detaching. I thought my Love for my W would dry up if I detach, but its more of just in a holding pattern.

I actually talked to my Pastor today, which was a big step for me since we both are going to the same church. I told him about my reservations of telling him some of the things, since I felt for a while that it would invade my W's privacy. Of course I didn't go into anything other than saying there was 'someone else.' Anyway, he replied back without hesitation about every reason we are here doing DBing.

'No matter what the outcome, you are realizing that you are doing everything possible'

'In relationships, the one that loves the most, usually has the least amount of power/control'

'MCS, you are not doing this just because you want to be married to her, but you also see the goodness in her; even though she might not right now'

'MCS, you are her Husband and a Father, when we have struggles in life, doing whatever we can to keep the balanced is the thing we need to do; even though it never is easy'

'You are showing me, that you thing she's worth the fight. Hopefully, she will see that too'

'MCS, realize that W knows what she did is wrong and she's struggling with it; she doesn't need anyone else to tell her that' (not in reference to me saying anything, just a general observation since he knows my W)

Anyway, it was reassuring and I came away feeling more confident in my DBing. He did say that I'm a 'fixer' and it must be a struggle once I identified a problem that I can't be able to fix it. Also said that going through this whole sitch must be so taxing and overwhelming. Trying to do it with constantly trying to preface or react to how she is feeling at the time must be impossible.

So, in other news; GAL weekend. Just had a bunch of work friends over for a party. Seemed like everyone had a good time, folks were impressed with how good the house looked, how prepared I was for the party (being a guy and all) and also how laid back everything was. Overall a good time, tons of food and drink and happiness in the house.

Lastly, I think that I was about to get 'set up' tonight. I've heard through the grapevine that there's some folks surveying the field of their friends, they just know that I'm not ready yet. I heard one of my co-workers say to another co-worker...'I thought your friend was coming over with you guys' she replied something about how it didn't work out.

Not a big deal, if it was; but I'm glad it didn't happen. However, its a good boost to the good ole' self esteem. I'm sure that there's this balance when detached; but it is good to feel like I'm that 'guy' that people are trying to set up with their single friends. Selfish, sure; but like I said...I know its not the time.