I really liked what Sandi said about the WAS has to change too in Order for the M. To work.
HP when you go see your IC try role playing examples of texts and interactions with your W. I did that many yrs ago when I went through my first divorce. It helped me tremendously. I learned to have a voice and know where my boundaries were without falling back into old patterns.
I say this today and will post it too on my thread.
There is a difference between giving up and knowing when you've had enough
I thought it was a good one to remember for all of us
Me 52 H 44 T9 M 5 BD 12/11 H split 8/12 OW moved in 12/12 OW gone for good 6/14 We get closer again 9/14 SD 13 Me 4 Grown
Accept what is...let go of what was and have faith in what will be.