Just realised wife of 12 years is having a MLC

[Detrmnd]

Thanks Toots I will go through starsky tips.

I am glad to hear what you said as it agrees with my thinking. I am bracing myself for the rage and torrent of absolute negatives, I have already heard so many that I am finding them easier to ignore at the time. Though I must admit I do need to go off and have a cry afterwards just to process (obviously not letting W see/know).

RE the swingers thing yes there are boundaries just like any relationship ours are probably just different to most. Trust though is the key just like in any relationship.

I am planning to mention the affair very matter of factly, I don't need a debate or anything else on it and I understand it probably won't end. I just feel like she doesn't even think it's an affair in her head at the moment...

I will fill you all in tomorrow she is due round about 9am UK time after the kids are at school.