Hey Old Dog, I haven't checked in with you in a little while. Hi there!
I was just reading the end of your last thread and I wanted to chime in.
Since you arrived on this forum you've had lots and lots of loyal friends on here discussing GAL activities with you. I think that is great! And you've built up such a nice group of people encouraging you and each other.
But I was reading your latest drama with the OM etc and it just jumped out at me. Yes GAL is great but I think what you need is to show WAW that you are fine with her decision to end the marriage and that you are moving on. I think that is where your focus should be.
Maybe I am totally off base but I think she is taking advantage of your kind and calm nature. She knows no matter what she does you will not rock the boat. You will still be there financially and physically. She doesn't have to worry about the kids being upset. She knows you are reliable.
She will not wake up and realize she made a mistake unless she feels she lost you or is in severe danger of losing you. If you want your wife back, you have to change the situation.
Having said that, I suppose there is a chance that you could just wait out this phase she is in. Let her see the grass is not greener on her own and maybe she will finally realize that you are amazing and fall back into your arms. That's not happening so far though.
I think she doesn't respect you or see you as an independent man. She sees you as the old reliable.
Moving out and telling her you are done would change the dynamic, but perhaps it is not right for your situation, and not true to yourself. But what can you do to show her you are no longer her doormat?
Have a think on it.
I had a friend who had relationship problems for years with her H. He treated her badly and repeatedly told her he wasn't sure he wanted to stay married. Things would get better, and then the cycle would repeat. She always tried to work it out, whether begging or being caring and understanding .. she tried it all. One day when he said he wasn't sure he wanted to stay married, she agreed and moved out. Guess what? In a few weeks he was begging her to come back and realized the mistake he had made. He didn't realize what he had until it was gone.
I'm not saying this always works out this way, it didn't with my H. But if you keep being right there she will take you for granted. It seems she thinks you are part of the furniture. I feel like she needs to think the furniture might not care about her and might move on to find his own new life and a new woman who appreciates him.
Old Dog is amazing. Old Dog needs to get his mojo 100% back!
