I believe a person in your stitch has to put forth a big effort to GAL. You made mention of being the third wheel when you were with the other couple. I think that is a very common feeling for one who is suddenly thrown into single status. Whether the S was lost in death or S/D. I have seen widows flock to each other b/c they feel out of place with couples. I hope you won't avoid friends who are couples, b/c they don't feel differently about you.....you just feel a little awkward right now. You may notice you are there without a partner, but it should not affect the friendship or enjoying their company.

I suggest you have a calendar to write your weekly GAL plans down. Plan ahead. Don't let more than two or three days go by without doing something that qualifies as GAL.

Watch your local newspaper for community activities and events. Explore new hobbies. Try new experiences. Go sightseeing. Take in some live shows. Wherever your interest may be is what you should pursue. You are your own boss and are free to do whatever you want.

At first, you may not want to get out of the house. Part of that is due to the sadness you have. When a person is depressed, they don't want to go anywhere. However, GAL will help you come out of the depression, loneliness, and boredom. It will help you find your identity again, and help give you self-confidence. So it is extremely important to "work" at GAL every few days, okay?

It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!