Susana (2) - Learning to detach

[susana4]

Hi Susana. If your H is wayward, he's going to make plans and not include you, and maybe not tell you until the last minute. Not very nice - but reality for you - at least for now, and possibly for a while. I think the answer is, not to try and set a boundary on this, but make your own plans and he can join you if he wants to. And if he doesn't? Well, you'll just go out and have a lovely time anyway.

Your wording sounds like you are still 'together' and would be the kind of convo you could have if that were the case - but your H has checked out of the M, remember...

Thanks Toots. I wasn't really sure if this was something I could set a boundary on or not. I have never set a boundary on anything so partially I just want to! Is it bad if I don't set any boundaries? I don't suppose I should set one just for the sake of it?

So even if we're living together and he disappears for a weekend away I can't set a boundary? We don't have children so it doesn't impact but I find it rude, even a roommate would let me know... I guess I also find a weekend away different to going out for the evening (strangely, he's been very consistent in telling me his plans for each evening at the beginning of the week).

I think it stings because it's opening up old wounds because we had this problem throughout the M - he would always tell me last minute before going to his parents for the weekend, and then insist he was sure he had told me (but he had only told me in his mind, and would always forget to actually tell me).