Seperated and she is with someone - I'm desperate

[vdubber]

Hi Karma. I know you are right. I need to leave her alone and she needs me to leave her alone. It feels strange to say that given we were so inseparable for so many years but I realize that is where things now stand.

I am trying to keep my mind occupied on other things and when I start thinking about her I stop and pray for God to give me strength to put her out of my mind and it helps for awhile. I can't say enough about what these forums have meant to me. I was in a much worse place mentally and emotionally before I stumbled onto this site, it's been exactly what I need and I feel privileged to have received so much advice and caring comments by all of you.

I actually met a friend and his wife tonight to watch some UFC fights. I went a little late as I had the little kids but I got them fed, in their Jammie's, watching a movie and my S (18) made sure they got to bed when movie was over. I was only out for a couple hours but it was good to get out even though I was a 3rd wheel. Tomorrow is the Super Bowl and my D (22) wants to stop by after work and watch it with me so that will be nice. She told me today her mom isn't the mom she knew and wants me to move on. I told her I'm working on me....getting a life for me but I do and always will love her mother.

Marriage issues are hard on everyone and she's had her anger and frustration with her Mom the past couple years but I make sure not to speak badly of her mother in front of any of my kids as we are both to blame for where we are. Do I want another chance...of course. But only time will tell. I cried very little so far today so I guess that's a good thing. Time to go write in my journal, say a prayer, and hope for sleep.

Goodnight to all of you and I pray that each and every one of your situations works out the way that is best for you.