I am back. After two weeks of hell I am looking forward my freedom and some peace of mind.
D13 could be expecting her period if it didn't happen yet. It can be painful and yes you can have those annoying headaches.
But, keep an eye on her. If the symptoms do not go away, then you may want to check with her doctor. Sometimes too much stress and anxiety can make the stomach very ill. Hope it is nothing very serious.
A take on the ring...I love to wear not one, but two rings. I kind feel totally naked without the ring. I guess too many years anyway.
About your wife. How much do you really know about her R with the OM? You write a lot about your feelings and what you think is going on between them, but what is concrete about this?
Your wife is so messed up and confused right now, it's very hard to understand what is going on with her. I think you are doing all what you can regarding the circumstances. Maybe, it would be a good idea to talk to W to reach a way that she will visit the kids on some days and times and not all the time.
RD, what I mean is that maybe you can talk to your IC to get some advice on how to handle this situation. The kids have their mother but she won't stay there. This may be getting them anxious, insecure, nervous, sad, hurt and a million more. It's not only RD that is in limbo but the kids are in limbo too. It does not matter how old the kids are. The limbo zone is the most unfair and painful feeling they can feel.
I know RD, it's just a very angry situation for you. You are left with all your kids, need to work, cook, clean, etc and deal with all the pain of a broken heart. And if it is not enough, you need to deal with your W's fit all the time. Maybe it's time to create some kind of boundary for your own good.
Life is unfair, cruel, but our treasures must be the most important part of our lives. Think about, try to make it easy, but maybe it's time your kids have a more stable life.
And you too. W wants both worlds, she left and is out there trying to figure it out her big mess and she is also coming back all the time for a little time to play mom with her kids. You need some more peace then you have now. You need that peace so you can handle every issue with your kids right now.
Maybe what I just wrote is not what you want or is looking for, so forgive me and just forget it. But I have kids and I feel my kids are doing better since the boundaries took place in my house.
RD, take good care after yourself. I know how hard it is when you need to live your life and for four other lives at the same time. Be patient, be gentle with yourself.
Hope things get better for you. For me, it's good now, bad later or vice-verse. But I am getting better.
Big hugs for this awesome dad and for his wonderful family.
