Ganb8te 4 - Putting on my giraffe ears

[gan]

So, I would like some feedback please. A while ago I toyed with the idea of contacting some mutual friends to get a bit of a feel for where H is at (then I learned that the friend had had a massive surgery so I put if off). Early on they were furious at H for moving out, told me it would be his loss if he screws this up and that they had faith things will work out (though it was unclear if that referred to the M or just me generally). I believe he saw them when he went back to his country last month.

I drafted the email below a couple of weeks ago but haven't sent it yet. I know this violates one of Sandi's rules but I feel like I am at a point where I need something more to keep me going.

I realise if I do send it one or more things could happen:
1. I don't get a response
2. I do get a response but it's not one I want to hear (OW, he wants a divorce)
3. They forward it to him or let him know that I've been asking about him
4. Others?

They are level headed people and I trust that they wouldn't do 3 (but it is a risk). If I do send it and they reply in line with 2 above then I will have to deal with the aftermath. I think I am prepared to face that risk if it means a bit more clarity about what is going on.

Can you please let me know what you think of the email below - in particular how would you feel if a friend sent this to you. I really don't want to put them in an awkward place, but could really use a second opinion on whether I am crazy holding out hope.

... ... ... ...

Dear XXX,

I could really use some friendship and support right now. I don’t want to put you in a difficult position but you are the only friends who know us both and I’m at a point where I could really use an outsiders perspective on this whole situation.

Did you catch up with H when he was in [city]? How did he seem to you? We caught up just before he went back to [his country]. He seemed frustrated by where things are at and left an overall impression that he is still confused about what the future holds and if I am part of that. I’m so close to the situation I can’t really tell if that is a fair assessment. Clearly he doesn’t want to come back to our marriage right now.

XXX, a while ago you said it helped you to know others had faith that things would work out. You were right, I did find peace in those words. I still don’t know how this will pan out but right now I still want our marriage and I’m searching for ways to change what feels like an increasingly hopeless situation. Til now I have been giving H space to figure things out. If you can offer any insights or encouragement it would be appreciated. I understand if you can’t.

This is such an awful situation. I wish it on no one.

Much love,
ganbatte