Singing in the Lifeboat

[daring]

Job and UR- y'all are just awesome! Thank you thank you!

I feel like I've cycled through every possible emotion on my roller coaster in one day. I suppose that's expected when finalizing a D of a 24 year relationship ( 21 married). After processing everything I feel peaceful. I actually have compassion for STBX- something I haven't had since Sept. He is clearly struggling. I watched him try to think and process and choose his words/responses carefully during our conversation. But he's definitely still clueless and I will continue to let him go to navigate his journey. I still love him deeply. I hadn't been able to see and/or feel that for awhile. I also love him enough to let him go. I feel towards him like I might if I was watching my adult child struggle- and in many ways that's what is happening.
As I reflect back on our life- I've saved him a lot. Now he has to do it as you said Job.

UR yes- I matter too. Thank you for reminding me! And I have not one doubt I was meant to be a physician in my current specialty and location. I have experienced heartache and joy with my patients and I woudn't have it any other way as I feel my calling is to not only improve medical outcomes, but to connect with families and help make the painful journeys just a little easier. I know I'm where God wants me.

I'm in a good place at the moment. I'm sure I'll cycle like he!! over the next few weeks but will try to remember this peaceful moment and the purpose of this journey.