Gogofo - LRT letter - planning a new beginning

[gogofo]

Today we spent the day moving the furniture that will be the W's from our house we just sold. My back is hurting.

Emotionally it was a little up and down for me. We were going through a bunch of stuff then I would see a love letter or pictures of us, etc. and it would just bring up a well of emotion. Tough to deal with but I held it together.

My offer on the new house was accepted. Don't know how I feel completely about it. I will be happier soon but right now it makes me teary. When I get the text message about the acceptance I told the W "I guess I just bought a house." She seemed to be a little shocked and possibly upset. She took a moment before she replied "congratulations", but it didn't sound genuine.

I guess my action to buy a home so quickly may be surprising to her, but only she knows.

W is going to a cocktail party with some work friends and will be staying the night with her friend that got divorced a couple of months ago. I like her and she is a great friend to my W but I don't know how much influence she has on her or not.

When I went to bed last night I was thinking about sitting with the W on the couch and talking. I know I am reaching for scraps or grasping at anything but it just seemed like something more than a person would do with someone of the opposite sex if they were only just friends. I felt it was more intimate than watching with a friend, but those are my feelings not hers.

I just need to keep enjoying whatever times I have with her but don't read into it too much or create expectations. I do have hopes or dreams about what could happen with us, but I need to keep my dreams from turning into expectations.

Now to have a fun night with me and my boys. Smoothies, Legos, movies, can't go wrong there! Probably even bacon for breakfast.