I'm just utterly gutted right now :(

[25yearsmlc]

I think the hardest part is keeping hope alive while equally steeling yourself for the semi constant lies and deception. Currently I keep realising lies I've been told and believed unquestionably at the time were so obvious!

I - I keep going back and forth in my head about whether she's being honest or just using it as a way to calm me down and get me out. Could go either way but i'm trying to be more optimistic these days so we'll see what happens.



Worst case scenario, it eased me into single life without being so mentally and emotionally torturous.

Then it has value that you can hold onto, regardless of outcome.

Just know you WILL be alright without her. If you don't know that,

If you don't KNOW that you can be a happy strong man with or without this woman in your life,

then how could you really attract her back, and hold onto her anyhow?

do you get that?


Also, did you consult a lawyer before moving out? What is the risk you face by leaving? I'm asking b/c in some areas, you would lose the ability to claim the home as your place of occupation, and if there were children there could be claims of abandonment.

I hope you sought legal counsel about this...



She has promised to help me move, drive me to the airport, hang out after i move, IM/EMail etc.

Frank, must you get a ride from her to the airport? There are no cabs? As for her promising to "hang out with" you and keep in touch,

what is that all about?

Do you see any problems with this obvious need of yours? Reminds me of when my ex bil divorced my younger sister and just after the divorce was granted, my younger sister asked her ex h for "a hug"....

(I just cringed.)


If someone filed to divorce me, I don't believe I'd be very interested in their scraps OR their promises. I'd think they "said" what they really felt about the marriage by filing to end it.

So if I were served paperwork for a divorce, THAT would more or less say it all.

Sure, maybe SHE will change her mind, (I have 2 family members who divorced, and years later, remarried their former spouses).

But meanwhile, what are YOU Doing with your life? Are you actually waiting to see what happens, with her? B/C that is the feeling I get.

I'm concerned that you may be missing the big picture here.

Remember the oft repeated adage around here,

"Believe nothing they say and only half of what they DO."

Frank, She has filed for divorce. That is what you KNOW.