Complex #4 - D talk started / Detaching continues

[Complex]

Time to move on, into another thread and into another life: Last thread

Quick summary (interesting how they always change):
- Continuing EA (since BD) exposed and confronted 1/15
- W respectful of not going PA during M but playing down EA
- OM not ready, NC to W since she told him that I know
- W completely out of love - we are not meant to be
- W doing a lot of soul searching herself, but validating her believes
- I was emotionally very immature in our M, settled and loved selfishly
- D now on the table - W determined to figure things out asap
- W wants me to move out, I told her I won't, she might leave
- W telling me to focus on myself only
- Family still not involved but W determined to tell them soon
- W basically started to "plan" D

Regarding myself I'm facing:
Hard time detaching. Need to continue better to GAL big time with more activities. .
Need to completely let go. Even W asking me to focus on myself.
Need to build financial stability asap. Depression therapy.

Regarding R/M I'm facing:
How can I postpone rash D decisions from W?
Main problem: W's feelings are gone.


W gaining more power again and our "R" changed after a confrontation night 2 days ago.
She seems to still care for my well being, but her picture of me didn't change. She seems to have done a lot of soul searching too. But it's all validating her believes, which she's very strong about. She told me I was emotionally very immature in our R and showed me an article. It was a good one and I agreed. She knows I'm working hard on myself and she assures me she is trying the same. She seems aware of my actions but believes I do it all for her. And she's half right.
She believes I can't detach with her around that's why she now wants to accelerate the S and D process and also make our S official asap. Partly true I admit.

Since confrontation we are much more friendly with each other tho, but in a way of acceptance and mutual respect. She desperately wants a FRIENDLY divorce. And it looks like I'll give it to her.
But that's where boundaries really come into play and I also have to act in my own interest. I don't know where I should be her "friend" and where not to.
This will probably be the major topic of this thread. I need some advice on that, or will that advice just be: Sinply focus on yourself? Guess it's not that simple once the D is rolling.

It feels like I'm facing a different enemy now. She's very very aware of everything. She doesn't seem too confused at all, but who knows.
Which leads to ONE goal: I need to FULLY let go. I HAVE TO. She's even telling me...
Stuff is still circling tho...what if, how, when. It's not easy. But when even SHE is telling me what I have to do...well that's a clear sign is it???



Thanks for everyone being involved in my sitch so far. I'm very thankful and there's a lot I can give back to the community already. Yours, Complex!