I'll pray your S won't get toxic. That must be very hard but why don't you consider legal separation? At this point you should put yourself on the safe side. But it's a big step even in a S.
Google for divorcesource...I found this site, it's very very helpful and has a very good approach on all questions around D that matches the DB ethics, plus Michelle's books are linked there.
Hope it helps.

Last edited by Complex; 01/31/15 05:39 PM.
Me 32 (German) Wife 28
T 3yrs M 2yrs
Moved to US for W
No kids
BD 6/2014
In house separation
Confirmed EA 1/2015
(ongoing since BD)
OM not ready
Real D talk started 1/27/15