Wow! The whole idea of turning gratitude around really resonated with me. Most of the time I am one of those super positive people but some days I just feel paralyzed with sadness and grief. The idea of working through it by remembering all the things I am glad to be away from is eye opening.

Your story about the tire is right on the mark too. H had been so angry and short with me for months before he left. My toes were raw from walking on eggshells and the vibe was completely dictated by his mood. I didn't see it until after BD but now I am reminded of it constantly. The air we breathe is lighter. The words we speak are honest and the memories we create are not defined by one person.

H was changing but I was so close I was reacting not truly observing. H was angry but it was not usually directed at me or the girls. He was just unhappy and we all had to deal with it. I think that is why I am dealing with a sadness that just makes me question everything. The tragedy that could have been avoided.

Then again we are all here because we would have done anything to avoid this tragedy for our spouse. Thank you all for listening and helping.

M:25 years at BD w/ 2 daughters
BD: 5/14
Separated 6/14 - H moved cross country w/OW
D Final 9/17

“I can be changed by what happens to me. But I refuse to be reduced by it.”
― Maya Angelou