Gogofo - LRT letter - planning a new beginning

[gogofo]

Yesterday was different.

When I got home from work the W and I decided to move bedroom furniture between two different bedrooms and get ready to move the furniture she is going to keep from the house we are selling.

We worked together and she went through her stuff. I moved all the big stuff. It was quite emotional for me, but she never saw it.

It just feels weird, unless I am just a spineless door mat, but it is weird to help her move things around for her. I am doing it because I care about her and truly want to help, I just haven't had confusing emotions like this in a while.

It feels like I am helping her move closer to D, but doing it with pleasure. I know I am doing it to keep any possible roads back smooth and clear, but it messes with my emotions at times.

After moving furniture she made us margaritas and we watched Dr. Who. We talked a little and were nice and relaxed after the drink. I even paused the show when we talked in order to give her my full undivided attention. When it was done I hopped up and said thank you this was nice, and went downstairs to my new bedroom situation.

So thanks wonka and Sandi, I just enjoyed the moment and didn't grab for more or wait and linger around her. She hurt her foot and so when she grabbed a blanket I got up, pulled her shoes off and covered her feet the way she likes. The look I got in return was one of surprise and thanks, maybe even made a love bank deposit.

Today I am going to make a counter offer on the house I am looking to buy. Hope they accept.

On another (maybe) positive note, the W has not mentioned the D papers since Monday when she thought I was trying to manipulate her.

Today's goals are to move furniture from old house and keep up my attitude of just enjoying what is going on and not asking for more.

I think I can do this, I just need to drop the expectation that it might stall or stop the D.