Toots is moving forwards..

[Sotto]

Didn't get the best sleep last night - awake from 2-4 with H/finance going around in my mind. I can feel myself getting more stressed - having been in a relatively calm place recently.

But it has to be done, and I just need to see what the L says and come up with a plan. There is a pull of emotions and practicality here. And I know that for self preservation (financially) practicality needs to win out.

I guess emotionally, I would rather not 'take H on' about this. I would rather not have to engage with him on what I feel will be difficult stuff. I would rather stay in my place of relative peace. I worry that he will tell me our M is over and he wants a D. I worry that this will lead to the sale of our marital home. All fear talking - and I know the M is dead in the water effectively anyway...

I'll get there, and I know it has to be done. I just have to put on my BGPs, and my business head and deal with it. I'll feel better once it is resolved and I'm secure financially and with "choices" independent of H.

Off to GAL lunch with my BF and her S today. H and finance can go firmly on the back burner!