Strong EA after 2yrs M - trying to detach. #3

[sandi2]

My situation is unique but I should stand up for my believes like a man. ...love isn't easy. Marriage isn't either. I'm sure there's people in here that WAS is going much crazier than mine. But at least most of them are leaving moving in with OM/OW and separate for real. This limbo thing is killing me.

As much as I want to tell her that I don't think the timing is right, nor will she understand. I need to be more patient, although the limbo is wearing very hard on me.

Your M has NOT been in limbo!!

The inevitable just happened.

Do you know why? It is the same reason you refer to it as the "inevitable".

My W started an argument. I stayed as calm as possible but I told her I do not respect what she's doing and neither do I that she's lying. She got very very offended. In the heat she seemed to throw everything at me.

Did you expect something different?

Now she wants to talk about the living situation and finances and everything.
I told her I'm not going to talk about this right now. She keeps pushing and pushing. It's very hard.
I urged her to please sleep over it and we discuss everything after we had a nights rest.

Again, did you expect something different?

It hurts, but I'm ok with it. She isn't going to learn her lesson anytime soon and all DB efforts I've done seemed completely unnoticed, although it was only a few weeks.

So, you are waiting for her to learn her lesson? And is it you belief she will want to reconcile when she learns her lesson?

What is your next step?

The last part of conversation, that actually started well, was this, and it sealed the deal: (talking about the word divorce and it's stigma)
W "we should not give a fk about society because it's our own life"
Me "that's what they all say..the devil speaking"
W "no, it's called not to allow other ppl to make you feel like [censored] about yourself"
Me "the only person that makes you feel like [censored] is yourself"
W "stop worrying about the word divorce then, it's just a word"
Me "ya, like marriage is just a word.........goodnight"

Oh yeah, you really showed her something, alright. I bet she will be up half the night thinking about that one!