If anything I've learned about this process is this: a VERY good attorney can be a good ally in your corner. I wouldn't recommend that you and SBTX go at it alone without your L's advice and counsel.
Your vibes are very valuable in the discernment department. Follow them. I've learned the hard way that when I discount my gut instincts, things backfire on me. So I am and have been working on heeding to my gut/vibes more frequently. Bottom line, I cannot imagine handling the division of assets and the sale of the marital home without my own lawyer. She had my back the entire time and protected me from the emotional impact of the nightmare of "splitting" things up.
When you retain a L, it just means that you've locked down on a L. If and when you're ready, you can tell L that she has the green light from you to inform H that you've retained her services (hint, hint). The clock starts when the L contacts H and begins to count down on the billable hours (emails, letters, phone calls). So you would want to be judicious with contacts. My advice is to get down all questions, concerns, and issues all in one email. This way, the L cannot make multiple charges on multiple emails. Be real smart and strategic about your contacts with your excellent L.
You don't enter negotiations naked without a seasoned professional by your side.
