Met with two attorneys back to back this morning...
You're all right. I do feel better. Less anxiety for sure.
The first one, a recommendation from a friend, really impressed me and seemed to GET my case. She explained the process very simply to me, discussed possible snags, figured numbers, looked at EVERYTHING, and really explained everything to me in very good detail without overwhelming me with legal jargon and whatnot. I like her. A lot.
The second one, almost the minute I sat down I felt like he could have been an attorney advertising on TV. He brought in two other attorneys to listen in. He asked me the other attorneys names I'd spoken to, I told him the one I'd just seen and he said "she's smart and VERY good. She knows her stuff and she's sharp... but she's more litigious and I don't think you need that". Well, I'll be the judge of that, thank you. I felt like his philosophy about law was that it is more about juggling the opponents defensiveness than anything else. Interesting though.
I don't know. Just didn't get a great vibe from the second guy. The first woman is twice as expensive though. I'm going to think about it and look around some more, too. I'm not in any real hurry.
I woke up feeling solid and I'm feeling even more secure after my appointments.
I need to think about what direction I really want this to take. I have many options but two seem the most reasonable.
1. mediate which means stbx and I sit across a room from each other and try to work out all the details with the help of an impartial mediator. I'll have guidance and support from my atty behind the scenes but not actually during mediation. I have NO IDEA how much stbx will fight on anything so while it's an option, if things get ugly, we might have to go to an option 3 anyway.
2. stbx and I work out the details, I tell my attorney (and if H wants to get one, he can), she writes it up, we sign and we're done. No mediator necessary, no attorneys necessary except for the official writing up of the final docs for agreement. This is by far the smoothest and least expensive option.
Unwanted 3rd option:
We sit across the table with attorneys on both sides hashing out our disagreements and if we can't figure them out, we head to court. Not fun.
Strangely, one of the things i'm most worried about is that once i pay a retainer fee, that's on record and stbx will know. How do I avoid that? Hmmmm....
Big event tonight at D's school that I'm cohosting. If I sleep well, maybe I'll schedule a meeting stbx for this weekend. I feel like I can handle it now.
