Okay I won't send a text to her then. I haven't spoken a word to her since the end of October, I never look at her FB page so I haven't a clue what's up in her life. All I know is I've heard she talks to my aunt once every few weeks and yesterday her mom "followed" me on FB. Why? I have noi idea but I have always suspected that my x in laws didn't want her to do this and once everything blew up in her face I think they realize she let a good man go. Our problems were very fixable and WAW admitted to me last time we spoke that if not for OM manipulating her things would've probably turned out differently. However maintaining radio silence seems to be the advice of the day here and since I've only a few hours before her birthday passes I wanted to make a decision. I wasn't sure if ignoring her BD would hurt my slim hopes that one day she may come back instead of help them. Thanks to you all and I really appreciate the advice. I will definitely keep you all posted.
ME: 43 W:44 M 13 years on 5-5-01 T 18 years BD 4/27/14 D papers served 5/5/14 (how appropriate a date) WAW moved out 5/12/14 Papers filed 6/27/14 Divorce granted 07/17/14 Our marriage ends 11/17/14
Okay I kind of like this because I don't have to disrupt my life and no contact is easier. I like to think of it that way...that if and when she wants to come back... she can initiate. It allows me to play the coward role if you will.
Last edited by ItHurts; 01/26/1512:14 AM.
ME: 43 W:44 M 13 years on 5-5-01 T 18 years BD 4/27/14 D papers served 5/5/14 (how appropriate a date) WAW moved out 5/12/14 Papers filed 6/27/14 Divorce granted 07/17/14 Our marriage ends 11/17/14
Here's the thing. If you text her, you are having expectations -- that it will mean something to her, that she will respond, that it will spark something. So you are setting yourself up for disappointment. If she wants to talk to you, she knows where to find you. Don't torture yourself or create more suffering for yourself. Go out with some friends -- now -- get out of the house and don't give her another thought for the time being.
M: 43 H: 39 D: 14 Married 15 Together 16 BD: 6/2014 S: 8/2014 OW revealed 10/2014 Instigated dissolution 12/2014, in progress So over it!
Well I know for sure it would mean something to her...in fact I bet she'd reply with something like " Thank you...it means a lot to me that you texted. I didn't think you would" or something like that. So it's not me worrying about the risk of no reply...its me worried about it starting another repeat convo with her that we've had a million times about her being a mess... needing to find herself and like herself again, etc...all the same stuff we talked about over and over again. I'm just sick of hearing that and these past 3+ months of silence has been nice in that respect.
Last edited by ItHurts; 01/26/1512:23 AM.
ME: 43 W:44 M 13 years on 5-5-01 T 18 years BD 4/27/14 D papers served 5/5/14 (how appropriate a date) WAW moved out 5/12/14 Papers filed 6/27/14 Divorce granted 07/17/14 Our marriage ends 11/17/14
"Until she puts out a new album" LOLOLOLOL! Thanks Zues! Yes that is one song I am SICK of hearing for sure!!
Last edited by ItHurts; 01/26/1512:39 AM.
ME: 43 W:44 M 13 years on 5-5-01 T 18 years BD 4/27/14 D papers served 5/5/14 (how appropriate a date) WAW moved out 5/12/14 Papers filed 6/27/14 Divorce granted 07/17/14 Our marriage ends 11/17/14
Hey everyone. Well I found out my brother died. The WAW and I spent a lot of time with him a few years back. He was somewhat estranged from the family...long story... but WAW and I would go down to Connecticut and go fishing with him and his ex wife trying to build a relationship with him up until about 8 years ago. It didn't work out to well in the long run. In any event, somehow WAW found out and she texted me this AM expressing her sorrow. I simply replied "Thank you, I appreciate it." She then asked for my parent's addresses so she could send a card...I replied that that wasn't necessary on her part but I thanked her and told her I would relay her condolences to them. I hope I handled this properly.
Last edited by ItHurts; 01/30/1506:38 PM.
ME: 43 W:44 M 13 years on 5-5-01 T 18 years BD 4/27/14 D papers served 5/5/14 (how appropriate a date) WAW moved out 5/12/14 Papers filed 6/27/14 Divorce granted 07/17/14 Our marriage ends 11/17/14
I'm so sorry to hear about your brother IH - that's really sad news - my sincere condolences to you. It sounds as though you handled things fine with your W - and good that she is concerned enough to want to send a card too.
Take care, Toots.
T 13 M 7 Me 48 H 46 SS 15 BD 7.14 PA D final 5.16 (H filed)
We receive & we lose, and must try to achieve gratitude & embrace with whole hearts whatever of life that remains after the losses - Dubus
It sounds like he went his own way towards the end, but you guys were from the same flesh and blood. You both faced difficulty, he handled it the way he did and it sounds like being on his own was the only way he knew how really. But while things at the surface didn't jive well I'm sure deep down there was a connection and I know you will always honor his memory. Live your life well and make him proud.
Stay in touch. I appreciate hearing your updates. Keep moving forward and take care of yourself.
Me:38 XW:38 T:11 years M:8 years Kids: S14, D11, D7 BD/Move out day: 6/17/14, D final Dec 15
