Seperated and she is with someone - I'm desperate

[vdubber]

Thank you for your honest feedback Sandi. I agree I have been living as nothing more than an extension of her. I need to find myself and learn to be happy with just me. I had not read the codependancy book you refer to but I need to. I do agree with your comments about my co-dependency. We both were until at one point and I just never changed but need and want to.

My fear is in losing the one and only woman I've ever been in love with. You are right in telling me that that woman is already gone. I undestand and appreciate your advice that she has to feel she's lost me. I'm not sure how that ever happens even if I can muster up the willpower to be who I know I need to be for me. I can't even imagine ever wanting to be with someone else and so I'll defer that thought for now as i just can't think about it now.

I agree about the living situation. I'm doing a couple things to the house and I think this spring I will try and relocate for my sanity as I will never heal being in the middle like I am right now.

I am more than willing to change myself and I do want and need help to take the necessary steps and actions. I really do mean it and really want to change.

At this point no matter how unlikely it seems (and I'm sure to those of you that have been down this path my chances of fixing my marriage is very slim), I do not want to give up hope. I may have to face that reality down the road but I want to work on me and what I need to do without having to lose hope and desire if that is even possible.